The Toddler Bully

No. Stop. Don’t. Quit. Lately, these are the most often used words in my vocabulary! It seems like everything I say is a plea for the toddlers to cease and desist from some illicit behavior.

No you can’t! Stop doing that! Don’t do it again! Quit it!

“No, Kenzie, you can’t wear those shoes!” “No, Kaleb, you can’t have more candy.” No! No! No!

“Stop talking and go to sleep, Kaleb.” “Stop getting out of bed, Kenzie.” Stop! Stop! Stop!

“Don’t bite your brother, Kenzie.” “Don’t hit your sister, Kaleb.” Don’t! Don’t! Don’t!

“Quit picking your nose, Kaleb.” “Quit pulling the cat’s tail, Kenzie.” Quit! Quit! Quit!

These commands are immediately followed by threats and intimidation often using a loud, scary man-voice.

“Don’t bite your brother, Kenzie or I’m going to bite you back.”

“Kaleb, if you hit your sister again, then she can’t play with you any more, ever again, for the rest of your life.”

“Quit picking your nose, Kaleb, or your nose will come loose and fall off your face!”

“Quit pulling the cat’s tail or she will run away and never come back (I wish!).”

Then they have the nerve to question my resolve…

“Poppy, are you just kidding?”

“No, Kaleb, I really mean it. If you don’t stop talking and go to sleep, I’m going to come up there and take your Barney and Goggy away and close the door….and…and…and  I might even lock it!

“And if you don’t stop getting out of bed, Kenzie, I’m going to lock your door, too.”

“Will I be trapped, Poppy?”

“Yes, Kenzie you will be trapped in your room forever, maybe longer!”

And then they dare to challenge my authority…

“You have to mind me, Kenzie. Poppy is the boss of this family!”

“No, I’m the boss!”

“No, Kenzie, you’re not the boss. I’m the grown-up and that makes me the boss! Grown-ups are the boss and you’re just…just….just a little 3-year-old squirt. So you have to do what I say!”

Listen to me. Am I actually saying all that?


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