The Night The Tooth Fairy Almost Didn’t Come

In a previous post, Don’t Mess with the Tooth Fairy, I revealed a side to the Tooth Fairy for which you might not have been aware–austere, unyielding, punitive. Well, there’s another side to the Tooth Fairy you may not about either–unaware, oblivious, negligent!

In fact, the way the Tooth Fairy behaves around our house, it almost seems like that illusive little nymph suffers from multiple personality disorder!

The kids have reached the age when their baby teeth are coming out. And, they are quite preoccupied with the process. They are always pulling and wiggling one of their teeth and then asking to see if it’s about to come out.

The trouble is, their loose teeth never seem to be loose enough to remove at a convenient time. And, they end up pulling them at school or at night after they’ve gone to bed as I explained in the previous Tooth Fairy post.

One night after the kids had gone to bed, Tami heard one of them moving around upstairs. She went up to their bedrooms and found Kenzie standing on the bathroom cabinet looking in the mirror. Tami made Kenzie get back in bed and told her not to get out of bed again under any circumstances.

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It seems like I’m always saying, “I’m going to a meeting!” In fact, sometimes my life seems like one meeting after another and hurrying to the next one is the story of my life.

And the kids probably think that’s my job–going to meetings. Maybe it is!

The other day Kenzie came home from school and told me she had to get to school early the following day because she had a meeting. I was concerned that maybe I had missed a note from the school telling us that she was in some kind of trouble and we needed to meet with the teacher or principal before school. So I asked her what kind of meeting and why she would have to be at school early to attend this meeting.

Kenzie said that her teacher had called a class meeting and everyone had to be there before school started. After further interrogation, I determined that the meeting for which she had to arrive early to school was actually planned to start at 8:30 am after the school day begins at 8:15 am. Her teacher was probably trying to reinforce to these first graders the importance of punctuality. Since her concept of time hasn’t fully developed, being punctual for her class meeting at 8:30 a.m. meant she needed to arrive at school early.

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Everyone Has Issues

The other day Kaleb and I were talking and Kaleb said to me, “Everyone has issues, right?”

The question sort of took me aback and so I answered, “I suppose, Son. So, what issues do I have?”

Kaleb: “You know, Dad. You have issues when I don’t mind you.”

Me: “Then, what issues do you have?”

Kaleb: “Sometimes, I have issues with minding you.”

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Literally Speaking

Me: “Son, you’re in BIG trouble!”
Kaleb: “How big?”

Me: “Sister, you better get your room cleaned up fast!”
Kenzie: “How fast?”

My kids are literal thinkers. They take everything you say at face value.

But I speak in metaphors, analogies, and most often in hyperbole!

Me: “You two are driving me crazy!”
Me: “Kaleb, you are like a bull in a china cabinet!”
Me: “Kenzie, you better start minding or you will stay in your room forever!”

And, they just don’t get it.

Me: “You two don’t go out in the back yard. It’s too muddy to play out there after the rain!”
Kaleb: “How muddy?”
Kenzie: “How long?”

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Don’t Mess With The Tooth Fairy

One night recently Kaleb had gone to bed and he called out for me to come into his room. I called back to him that I wasn’t coming in.

Then, he called back to me, “My tooth came out!”

And then I called back to him, “I’m not coming in there and I doubt if the tooth fairy is going to come and visit you either!”

This response upset him of course. But, I checked on him later and he had drifted off to sleep in spite of his consternation.

Now, you may think my response, or lack thereof, to his tooth coming out seems harsh. He pulls one of his baby teeth (I think it is the third one) and I don’t even go check it out and celebrate with him.

But, let me back up a few hours and maybe you will see why I responded in this way…

And, when you finish reading my explanation, you are either going to think I am an exceptionally brilliant parent or simply a wicked grandparent. Maybe I’m a little of both; probably not much of either!

Continue reading “Don’t Mess With The Tooth Fairy”

A Clever Guy

KENZIE: “How much air do you blow into a balloon before it pops?”
ME: [As she starts to blow up a balloon] “I suppose until there’s enough air pressure inside the balloon that the latex begins to stress and…” [POP]

KALEB: “If you blow on a fire will it go out?”
ME: “No, when you blow on a fire it makes it burn bigger. Water makes a fire go out.”
KALEB: “So, if you pee on a fire will it go out?”
ME: “Son, I don’t believe that’s a good idea. You might….oh, never mind.”

The kids are starting to ask me these enigmatic questions that I don’t know the answer for. I mean, they are asking me questions about things I’ve never really given much consideration, let alone be able to explain in terms a child could understand.

They are asking questions about the physical properties of the universe, the meaning of life, the nature of God, history, anthropology, astronomy, zoology, anatomy and physiology…

And, I used to think I was a rather clever guy, a deep thinker, a well-informed person. But, this 6-year-old and this 7-year-old are posing questions that are utterly incomprehensible–at least to us lesser beings!

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The other day the kids had their semi-annual appointment at the dentist to get their teeth cleaned. They always go together and the hygienist cleans one while I hold onto the other.

They love to get their teeth cleaned, but taking them together is certainly not without complications. First, there’s always an argument about who gets to go first. Kaleb says he should go first because he’s the oldest and Kenzie says she should go first because she’s a girl. The hygienist usually settles the argument by choosing the one whom she says didn’t go first on their last visit.

Then, they both want to check out all the dental instruments, press all the buttons and turn devices on and off. And, if that’s not enough trouble, it’s difficult to get them to stop talking long enough to initiate and complete the cleaning procedure.

Well, on this latest dental appointment Tami took the kids by herself. She said she didn’t need me to come. So, I didn’t go. I stayed at work. And, I wondered how it went without me.

Continue reading “Calmer”

Worlds In a Different Orbit

One night I was scratching Kaleb’s back while he was laying in bed to go to sleep and he asked me: “What if you die while we’re still kids?”

That’s really not a question a seven-year-old should be asking. And, it’s certainly not something a seven-year-old should be worrying about.

Of course it’s a concern I have. And, I’ve written about it on this blog on several occasions.

It sometimes seems that I’m growing older faster than they’re growing up!

Think about it. The kids have had two substantially traumatic experiences in their lives. They have lost parents two times. Once is more than enough, but two times?

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How To Know You’ve Found the Right One

It’s been a while since I’ve posted an episode for Poppy’s New Adventure. In fact, it’s been about four months!

You may notice a little bit different look to the blog because I’ve changed platforms from Blogger to WordPress.

I explained in several previous posts that I was getting married. So, since I last posted, PNA has not only changed blogging platforms but has also added a wife and mom, Tami, and a dog, Chloe. (We had to find a new home for our cat, though, because the cat and the dog were clearly not going to get along in the same family.)

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