How To Know You’ve Found the Right One

It’s been a while since I’ve posted an episode for Poppy’s New Adventure. In fact, it’s been about four months!

You may notice a little bit different look to the blog because I’ve changed platforms from Blogger to WordPress.

I explained in several previous posts that I was getting married. So, since I last posted, PNA has not only changed blogging platforms but has also added a wife and mom, Tami, and a dog, Chloe. (We had to find a new home for our cat, though, because the cat and the dog were clearly not going to get along in the same family.)

 But, even though the configuration of our family has changed, the adventure continues…

One day after we returned home from our honeymoon Tami asked me if I regretted not dating more women before we got married. In other words, how could I be so sure she was the right one?

The first thought I had was: “Why are you asking me this now?”

Thinking that’s probably not the right response to that question, I exclaimed: “Honey, I’m sure you’re the right one!”

I really hadn’t really dated that much over the last three years. Come to think about it, I hadn’t dated at all! Maybe she had reason to be concerned…

She had dated quite a bit during her single years, so I suppose that’s why she was asking.

Looking back, I thought about dating sometimes, but as a single grandparent I figured I had two strikes against me: too old and two kids! So I didn’t want to take the chance of striking out by asking someone out on a date.

There’s really just two reasons for dating. Dating can be a way for finding that right one that you want to marry. And, dating can also be a way for socializing and companionship without a serious relationship.

So, being the serious guy that I am, I tend to fall more into the first category–dating someone I think I would marry. Besides, as a single parent with two young children, I really didn’t have the time nor inclination for socializing.

But since she asked, I began to analyze my response. With my limited dating experience, how do I really know I married the right one?

I’m sure I’ve found the right one and the explanation is fairly simple. As a matter of fact, because I’m a guy I like to keep relationship things fairly simple. So, I can reduce the response to this complex question down to one key point. (This single-factor system for analyzing a relationship may be useful to other guys, though I’m sure women use more sophisticated criteria involving multiple factors when evaluating relationships.)

Actually, my key point is from a line spoken by Jack Nicholson from the movie As Good As It Gets.  The movie is a comedy about a best-selling novelist suffering from OCD, Melvin Udall played by Jack Nicholson. Melvin falls for a waitress at a restaurant he regularly frequents, Carol Connelly played by Helen Hunt.

Because of his pathological behavior, Melvin has difficulty forming relationships with other people and Carol is the only person who tries to tolerate Melvin’s behavior. So, Carol somewhat reluctantly agrees to go on a date with Melvin.

After Melvin makes several social blunders during their date, Carol tells Melvin she needs him to pay her a compliment if the date is to continue. Melvin then proceeds to tell Carol how much he hates to take pills, but since he has met her he’s started taking the medication for his disorder. She doesn’t understand how that’s a compliment and Melvin thinks for a moment, smiles and explains: “You make me want to be a better man!”

Tami, I know you’re the right one because you make me want to be a better man, a better husband, a better dad….

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