After my previous post, All Men Are Jerks!, you may be thinking that there’s a lot of guys mad at me.
Although I haven’t received any hate mail or had any threats to beat me up, this post is intended to be a follow-up, and you might say, a defense or justification for my position that all men are jerks.
I won’t bore you with detailed descriptions of the highly-developed psyche of males because there’s not really much detail to describe!
So, my explanation is actually quite simple: Men are jerks because they have a very limited range of emotions to choose from when reacting to the events of their lives or to the behavior of other people.
In fact, men really just have one emotion: anger!
Yep, men react to everything with anger or with some level of anger. And if they don’t react with anger, then they just stay calm. So it’s either anger or the absence of anger!
Maybe it’s the hunter/gatherer instinct that still drives modern men. Have you ever noticed how a man reacts to a great sports play? If he’s the one that made the great play, he pounds his chest. If it’s the team he’s cheering for that made the great play, he yells, “Yeahhhhh!!” while he clenches his fists across his chest or thrusts his fists into the air.
It’s body language that seems to mean, “Down with my foe! Death to my adversary!”
And, have you noticed that when men greet or congratulate one another, it’s not with hugs and affection. It’s high fives, knuckle bumps, shoulder or body slams, slaps on the back. It’s a fighting stance! It’s rage, man!
With men, even their “happy” is angry!
Now, don’t get me wrong, there is another dimension to this anger emotion. Men are a little more emotionally sophisticated, though not much. As I already mentioned, there is the reaction of the absence of anger, the complete lack of emotion. To women it may seem like detachment. I prefer to call it “calmness” because that label seems to have more depth to it…
Again, I have to believe that this detachment, this calmness, is just another facet of the hunter/gatherer instinct. When danger arises, when beast or foe draws near, stay calm. Don’t overreact or you might get killed!
When men are confronted with a situation that might be emotionally dangerous for them, they are likely to remain calm, cool, collected. They show no emotion. You commonly see this emotional reaction from husbands when their wives say, “We need to talk, ” or ask “Do you think I’m fat?” or inquire “Why do you love me?”
Conflict (or the avoidance of conflict) is survival for the hunter/gatherer. That’s why modern men are angry men. That’s why they are jerks. Because they are cavemen!
But, in contrast to men, women have a full range of emotions to choose from. That’s why women are superior human beings.
Compare this single anger emotion of men to the full spectrum of emotions that women demonstrate:
dissatisfaction–> sadness–> unhappiness–> sorrow–> despair
disapproval–> disdain–> scorn–> dislike–> distrust–> contempt
approval–> acceptance–> affection–> esteem–> trust–> love
That’s right, men are emotional cavemen. So, they respond to the world around them like cavemen.
So, here’s how that caveman/angry man mentality works out in the home, in marriage and family, in raising and disciplining kids. Men yell, women nurture!
Anger (or the absence of anger) is how men react to the pressure of marriage and family relationships. Anger is how men teach and discipline their children.
Men threaten, command, reprimand. They yell to encourage good behavior. They yell to punish bad behavior! (See my post, Huffing and Puffing Is What I’m Good At.)
Ladies, don’t be too hard on these angry men. Pity them. Admire them. After all, they have only one emotion with which to rule the world!