Some of you will relate to what I  am about to tell you about my life–the single parents or working moms or even grandparents that extend their careers to start a second career to support grandchildren they are raising.

When one of my children get sick, I get really conflicted if I have a meeting or event scheduled at work. Which event do I not show up for, my child’s sickness or my meeting at work?

I faced this predicament recently where one of the kids was quite sick and I had an important event going on at work, one we had been planning for months.

Now, for those of you who might think I’m super(grand)parent, then what I’m about to tell you is going to let you down…

That’s right. I left my sick child at home and went to my important event at work. Of course, I left my child in good hands with Conner, but still, I’m ultimately responsible for the well-being of my children, so shouldn’t I be there with them when they are sick?

Don’t answer that because I’m already feeling guilty enough…

And then when I have the opportunity to stay home with a sick child, I’m feeling guilty because I’m not at work. I suppose that’s because my life has always been my work or my work my life. Whatever.

Or at least that’s the way it was until I started on this new adventure…

But it’s not just the children’s sicknesses I’m missing out on. There’s school events, PTO, birthday parties, and many other activities that I can’t participate in with the children because I just don’t have the time or availability because of work commitments.

And, it almost goes without saying, that I probably don’t engage with them as much as I should at home in the evenings because I’m trying to get prepared and get them prepared for the next day or I’m just too tired.

There’s a part of me that would rather just stay home and cook and iron for the kids and clean up the house and take them to school parties and soccer games. I think I could be happy doing that. At least for awhile.

Yet, there’s a part of me that says I need to keep working as long as I can because I have some career goals I need to accomplish and because I need to support the children and save up for their future.

Yup, this is my life! I can’t have it just one way or the other. So, I guess I’ll never quite be a superb parent or a stellar employee!

I’ll just have to settle for doing the best I can at both and not being really outstanding at either! But, maybe doing both helps me better appreciate the time I do spend with the children.