I really needed you to be here today as I sat in court watching our youngest son plead his case before the judge.
You wouldn’t have wanted to come and I wouldn’t have wanted you to see him shuffling into the courtroom in ankle irons and handcuffs.
I don’t know why he can’t seem to take responsibility for his life. Maybe we did too much for him. Maybe we didn’t do enough…
But if you were here, you would know what we need to do now. You would know what he needs to do now.
The children were asking for their Nanna today. Maybe that’s what has prompted me to write you. Maybe that’s what has made this day so much more difficult.
I’m sorry for having to send you this message. But you know me. I have to work through these things by writing. It’s my therapy. It’s my solace.
And please don’t think I’m feeling sorry for myself just because you’re not here.
I suppose I am, a little. But mostly, I feel overwhelmed. I feel inadequate to handle all this myself.
So, that’s why I’m sending you this message.
I know that when you send a message in a bottle, you really don’t expect anyone to find your message. You really don’t expect anyone to send back an answer.
But maybe sending you this message will help me find the answers.
All my love,